Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I know people are well-meaning, but seriously, is this how they want the conversation to go?

"How are you doing, Anna?"

"How do you think I'm doing? I feel like shit. I feel devastated. I have no idea how to even start to feel OK again. Or trust. It was hard enough to do the first time, but this, now, after all of that, is infinitely worse. I can't even begin to find the words to adequately describe how I'm 'doing'."

But I don't say that, because the people that ask me that question really do mean well.

So I shrug, and say "I'll be fine."

Inside I'm alternating between screaming and crying.

1 comment:

melbourne dreaming said...

They're asking to start a conversation hon... and it's perfectly ok to tell them that you feel like shit and are devastated. I know it's hard... but if you're not ok and you are ready to talk, answer their well-meaning questions honestly. There's no point pretending you are fine if you're not, that just makes it harder to bear because you feel so alone in carrying the burden. Believe me, I know! I'm the first person to keep everything inside and laugh off my troubles on the outside.

I'm sorry you're going through this. You deserve better. I know I don't know you, but I know that much! Hold tight. It will get better, trust me. Just get through this shitty stage as best you can. I hope you're ok.

Email me anytime if you want to vent/angst/get it all out. Or just know that I'm thinking of you.

xxx k